Words
Words, they have much to offer me. At times, when I feel hopeless, or defeated, or just hate the skin I’m in, I seek solace in the tiny blue marks I scribble in my journal. And that which I seek, I do find in ways inexplicable.
The words I write put me behind a lens, a rose-coloured one perhaps. If anyone happens to chance upon them, and decides to tackle the curlicue they present, one sees a facet of me that I know is a play of the light refracted through the lens. The words I write don’t define me as much as I define them. They don’t form me as much as I form them.
But I rejoice in the depths of the anonymity that my words afford me. As if it’s a place I could run to at times when I hate this world. Is ‘hate’ too strong a word? Maybe it is. But I’ve said it once, and I couldn’t care two hoots.
I want to turn around and give nostalgia a big handshake, and never look back again. For I want to change for the better, maybe. We all have dreams, don’t we? Aspirations; things that we want to be; things that we want to do. A part of which defines who we are. But, I still can’t figure out who I am. And I still can’t figure out why we carry on like we do.
Maybe we’re not meant to know such things. Or, maybe life is just this way: An endless river, with no beginning, no end, and no purpose; no answer to the question ‘why’. Or maybe it’s just for us to decide, to choose, how we see life.
Have you heard the song “Words” by the Bee Gees? It’s a great song, with excellent melody; and with men’s voices sounding feminine, like the Bee Gees’ sound. Don’t they sound really good? I cannot make sounds like that. So, they must be good. And they are legends of some kind, aren’t they? To have their songs sung again, and again, by gay boy-bands all over the world must mean something. Or, are they turning in their graves at the very thought of it? Wait, are those guys even dead yet? I don’t care, anyway. Care presses me down too much. I wish people I love would not care so much for me. It’d lift that pressure off of me. It’s not like I don’t want to be cared for. Just a tad less should do just fine.
I digress too much. Well, after all, this is supposed to be my “rambling” journal. That makes my mind “not so feeble”. See, how easily words can be used to throw a thin veil over everything?
wow.. that’s some deep stuff there….
You really think so??
Words have a way of their own!
Thanks for visiting my blog, and commenting!!
Hey Sayan!:-). I was right with my impressions when I first read your writing,:-). What I just read attested to that. You have ways with words, my friend.:-).
Words… A tool for man that is so powerful it could connect or burn bridges, it could make wishes turn to realities, or it could cut a person too deep that one could die a thousand death…
Your thoughts are fresh and enticing to read Sayan.:-)
Cheers!
Jane,
Jane, you’re way too gracious with your words! And so right you are about the power of words.
When I first started blogging (which was just a couple of weeks back) your blog was one of the first I came across. I’ve known since then that words in your hands just turn into beautiful flowers: Never ones to cut a person deep!
Thanks for dropping by… and take care.
Sayan
Hi Sayan,
I took time to rest. I’ve been multi-tasking for the past weeks. Thought I deserved a break, lol. So here I am, scribbling as fast as I can, lol!
Wow, that was a gracious thing to say, my friend.
“I’ve known since then that words in your hands just turn into beautiful flowers: Never ones to cut a person deep!”
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*** It’s one of my goals in life, Sayan
Let’s just say that I have been hurt by words in the past,:-). That experience made me realized that words cut me deepest, most especially if it comes from “so-called” caring friends,
. Experiences like what happened to me are always my best teacher, my best motivator- it brings out the best in me as a person. It challenges my capacity to control my emotions and act with deliberate care.
The reason why “words: hurt me the most is because it is one thing that a person has full control into. One may not be able to control their actions at times, but one can always think hundreds of times before uttering or writing something that points out to other people. I think words are the most deliberate, most inexcusable thing that a person can do. Whether in a positive or negative note and purpose. Some can argue about motivations or reasons about what they’ve said or written. However, the fact remains to be clear that time was never limited for one to make fair and just assessment. One can always hold back to check the accuracy of one’s basis before uttering/writing opinions, ideas, speculations, etc about something else.
One important lesson that I realized was this. Words can reveal the reality in a person’s motive, most epecially in the cyberspace,
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Jane, I can so relate to that. It surprises me to think that someone out there in the “big bad world” feels the same way that I do!
Well, you’ve been hurt, and from the pain you drew inspiration: The will to be a better person. As for me, I was one who never thought twice about the words I uttered. But, as experience would have it, I fell flat on my face, and realized what an idiot I had been. And that hurts real bad, too: When the rose-coloured glasses you look at life through are shattered into a million pieces. I guess that’s what “they” call growing up!!
The important thing is we have complete control over the words we speak. Consciously, or not, we decide what we say; choose the words that we speak. And it is a real shame that some people (mua for example) just don’t get it until something goes terribly wrong! But, second chances galore!! Such is love, after all!!! That’s a lesson learnt, and a mistake that I shall not make again.
By the way… the view from your new home is amazing! Coming from a guy who sometimes spends the entire night sitting up on the terrace, just because he likes the view, it means a lot!!!!!!!!
Hi Sayan,
I observe a different world with your words. The seems engravings on stone or collection of drops forming a sea of waves, which are un saperable. Sometime I feel that you are not happy to see how the world is, sometime I thibk you have lot of hopes but still waiting to mount a castle. I read comments from Jane and was very happy to understand someone that uses her words with so beauty.
I just want to put across that you are growing and grown enough to mould your ideas, why cant they breath more happiness and joy then sadness???
Sajid